Tag Archive: success


How Bad do you Want it?

Filed Under: Life, law of attraction
Feb.23, 2010

No matter what it is you are reaching for – a new job, a relationship, something material like a new house or car, the perfect vacation, weight loss, or any other goal that takes hard work and dedication to obtain – you must ask yourself one important question: How bad do I want it?

When I was actively working with Arbonne International (an all natural health and wellness company) I was told numerous times to “find your why.” What they were asking of me is to nail down exactly what was motivating me to succeed. For some people, the motivation was about being in a job they hated and they were looking for something more enjoyable. For others, the motivation was a bit stronger – they were homeless and living out of their car and found Arbonne as a way to earn a living. What the leaders found is that when our motivation is fueled by something major (like being homeless) we are much more likely to succeed! In cases like that, failure really isn’t an option. But if we are motivated by something not so urgent, like perhaps we just want extra money to purchase more material things or we want better vacations, we tend to give up when the going gets tough. The motivation must be enough to push you through the tough times.

I have found this lesson of finding your why to be valuable in all aspects of my life. When something is right for you or meant to be – it grabs you! It grabs your attention and you’ll find it difficult to ignore. What I’ve learned is that when something grabs me – I feel confident in pursuing it. If it doesn’t grab me – I’ll likely pass it by. I’ve used this to make important decisions and not so important decisions. So far, I’ve been very happy with the results.

When I first met Mark, everything in my head told me I was not being wise to move so quickly and everyone around me told me the same thing. But Mark grabbed my heart and I had no choice but to throw caution to the wind and run with it! It has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my entire life. He is perfect for me and we clearly have a perfect marriage! So if it was such a great decision, why was I advised against it? Because it’s common knowledge that you should never make a major decision while going through a trauma, especially big ones like death and divorce! Mark and I were both experiencing fresh traumas and had no business jumping into something so serious when we clearly weren’t able to think rationally. Thank God we jumped! He grabbed my heart and still has it.

The next time you are deciding on a goal, ask yourself how bad you want it. The answer may determine your success with it. Either way, it’s always good to have your why nailed down so that you can pull it out as a reminder when things get tough. And remember, when something really grabs your heart – run with it!

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Crossing the finish line

Filed Under: Welcome
Feb.05, 2010

Mark and I talk a lot about goals on our blogs. It’s understandable since we have both learned that without goals we are as lost as last year’s Easter egg, but with goals we seem to get anything we set our hearts on. Being the impatient person I am, I had to learn an important thing about realizing change:  it is not linear.

We all enjoy watching good movies or reading books that make it seem that there is a straight line between getting where you want to go from where you are now.  We think that line looks like this:

Identify your goal → Identify your options → Make a list of steps →  Take a series of linear steps to get there  →  Don’t quit  → Arrive at goal

There may be times when it works out that way.  We certainly advocate for having identified goals and a list of steps on how to get there. We also suggest you continue taking those steps, day by day, and not quit until you get what you are wanting. But rarely does it happen so simple and clean like that. Instead, we find ourselves energized one day and stuck the next.  We make huge progress then it goes on the back burner for a while. We experience a series of “good luck” then it seems nothing works out right. But if we continue on, eventually we do get there. What we find when we arrive is that all those distractions and detours actually enhanced our goal, taught us valuable lessons, and gave us the stamina to maintain the goal once we receive it! It is true; the messy journey on our way ends up being full of jewels for us!

What about you? Do you have goals or are you just living life in a rut where your day to day existence is all about getting through the day? Now is a great time to start dreaming and planning.  Start out small – pick just one small goal that you would like to accomplish before the end of the year.  Where would you need to be in 6 months in order to meet that goal on time? Where would you need to be in 3 months? Now that you have some smaller “mini-goals” write down the steps you need to take to accomplish your target by May. Then just do it.  Don’t fret if you go through slow periods or you feel unmotivated at times. Just remind yourself of why you want that goal – then get moving again.  Remind yourself often of your progress to keep you encouraged. Don’t quit! If you keep on a consistent path, enjoy the journey, and keep the jewels you pick up along the way – you will find yourself accomplishing more and more.finishline

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How to be Awesome!

Filed Under: Life
Feb.02, 2010

Have you ever met someone who was simply awesome?

I believe that no matter what you look like, how much money is in your bank account, where you live, what you drive, or how much education you have, you can be awesome! It’s pretty simple if you follow these three steps:

1. Check the mirror. Take a good long look at yourself in a full length mirror before you leave your house. If you don’t like what you see, don’t change clothes (although that may help) but instead, change your attitude! What is on the inside of you is revealed on the outside of you. There are so many beautiful people who don’t have model shaped bodies, high cheek bones, beautiful eyes, face, and hair. They are just average, normal people who have a great attitude and it shows!

What do you see when you look in the mirror? What does your posture say about how you regard the world? Are you defensive? Does your facial expression reveal bitterness, caution, and fear? What about your choice of clothes? Are you drawing attention to yourself or hiding behind your fashion?

How do you walk? Head up, chin out and with purpose? Or do you shuffle along with your head down like you have no where to go and no one to talk to?

What does your speech reveal about you? Do you curse or bless? Are you mindful of proper grammar or do you flaunt your lack of education? (“What my name is?”)

Making sure your attitude is awesome is as easy as looking in the mirror. Check it out! If your image doesn’t scream awesome – then change it!

2. Assume rapport. Many people walk around concerned about what other people think about them. It makes us nervous to think we are being sized up and judged all the time. What I have discovered is that most of the time, the person is too busy thinking about themselves and wondering what others think about them to be at all concerned with you!

So the fact is, you don’t have to worry about what people think of you – because most likely they aren’t thinking about you at all!

I normally wouldn’t advocate any type of assumption. Assuming things usually makes a mess in relationships. But there is an exception – it is safe and wise to assume rapport. Whom should you assume you have rapport with? Everyone you meet! The entire world, in fact. If you make it a habit of thinking that the person you are speaking with likes you, enjoys your company, and wants to be your friend – then most likely they will! In fact, if you face the world with the same assumed rapport, you find it to be a warm and caring place.

Assuming rapport with the world changes you and how you respond to others. Your demeanor and confidence level will improve. Your energy toward others will get higher and your conversation and expressions will reflect the type of person that anyone would call awesome!

3. Keep reaching forward. Keep growing. I used to grow a considerable amount of house plants. Then somehow my life grew too busy and complicated to proper take care of them, so I downsized! Right now I only have two plants in the house, and both of them are pot-bound. Have you ever seen a plant that had outgrown its pot? It’s not a pretty sight. If you keep a plant in the same pot, year after year, the roots have no where to go and it makes growing and thriving almost impossible for the plant. You can tell right away because the leaves are dull and of course there’s little or no change in the plant.

This is what happens to us when we stop growing. We become dull and lifeless. If you want to be awesome – you must make sure you are always learning, always growing, and always expanding your reach. Awesome people always have something new to talk about, they learn things, they experience new things, and because of this, they are more interesting to others.

As you can see, being awesome is pretty simple. Make sure your attitude is properly expressed on the outside, assume rapport with others, and continue to grow!

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Life Sucks. Then you Die.

Filed Under: Finances, Life, Parenting
Feb.01, 2010

Have you ever thought that about your life? Most of us probably go through streaks of bad luck which makes us think that life sucks, but it’s usually a short lived experience then we get on to the business of living a good life. But what if you have felt that way for as long as you can remember? What if you often ask yourself, “What’s the point?” Or what if you just feel bored with your life?

If you have to ask yourself what’s the point of living, then you really are missing the point. The point to living is ENJOY it!

I can already hear the protests: you don’t understand!

  • I have a terrible job!

  • I’m fat and can’t lose weight!

  • My husband and I don’t get along!

  • I’m broke or I just lost my job!

  • My kids are driving me crazy – they are out of control!

It seems the excuses for not enjoying life are endless for some people. So, what can you do about it if you find yourself not enjoying life?

First, you must come to some sort of resolution that you are the creator of your life. If you continue to think you are a victim and therefore powerless over your circumstances, you will remain in your miserable mental prison. Every aspect about your life right NOW is a result of past decisions, habits, thinking, and behavior. Therefore, if you want TOMORROW to be different, you must change things TODAY! Let’s take a look at what you can do now to change your whatever is making you not enjoy life.

Let’s say you are feeling financially pressured. This is a category where you have a ton of choices which all can lead to a better picture tomorrow. First of all, you can take control of your finances by creating a budget and sticking with it. Mark has some great posts and resources available for this. Next, you could take a look at how much you earn, decide how much more would make your life comfortable, then figure out how to get it. Let’s say you earn $50,000 per year but you decide it would be much better if you could earn $65,000. You need an additional $15K, so how can you get it? The first stop should be your employer – ask them what it would take for you to make that much more money. If they say it’s impossible – perhaps looking for another job should be something you look into. Or maybe you can look outside your job to find another source of income – such as freelancing or a part time job somewhere.

Perhaps your finances are ok, but your children are driving you crazy! You feel overwhelmed by the chaos in your home. Here is a suggestion which you may have never considered – take a parenting course! What? You want me to let someone else tell me how to raise my kids? No way! That is generally the attitude parents take when offered parenting tips, advice or education. They seem to think that their ability to procreate and spit out a baby automatically gives them credentials to properly parent the child. Or they think that love alone is going to save the day. I’m always amazed at how offended people get when it is suggested they are going about parenting and disciplining the wrong way. I suppose they think they have faulty children instead of their approach to them being less than ideal.

Then there are other excuses people use to feel miserable which really can’t be changed. Some have been hurt, abused, taken advantage of, or maybe born into a bad family situation. You know what, you still have a choice. Do you want to wallow in the past or enjoy life in the present? As cold as it sounds, the answer to some of your problems may be simply – “Get over it.” “Move on.” “Forget it.” Or better yet, “forgive.”

The point is, whether or not you enjoy life is solely up to you. You have the power to change most aspects of your life and the things you can’t change can never stand in your way of happiness. Happiness is a decision, much like love is. No one or nothing can MAKE you choose unhappiness. The choice is yours – choose wisely.

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Consistency

Filed Under: Life
Jan.28, 2010

If you are looking to be successful in any endeavor, you simply cannot over estimate the power and importance of consistency. But actually remaining consistent, day in and day out – now that’s another story!

You know how it is, you start off with some new goal or idea, perhaps you decided to lose 20 pounds or maybe you started a new business, and in the beginning you are pumped! You can see the end result and you can’t wait to get started on that diet or get started with your new business! Your excitement is contagious and you talk about it to anyone who will listen!
Then you begin; you work hard….and after a while you see no results or not the results you were hoping for. Pretty soon you start to doubt yourself and that vision you started out with begins to fade. You make excuses for yourself, extend the goal deadline, or try to become “realistic” in your expectations (in other words – you sell out). This affects your efforts and pretty soon you are only half heartedly working toward your goal. This yields even fewer results, causing you to really lose hope. Finally, you quit altogether. Sound familiar? It should because this scenario affects 90 – 97% of us.
According to recent surveys, only 3% actually achieve their goals. That isn’t too bad considering only 15% of us actually have goals. Even fewer, 5% of us, have clearly defined, written goals. So the good news is just having a goal, or even better, writing down your goal, sets you ahead of 85% of the population. Good job. Now, what sets those 3 % apart who actually made it to the end? Persistence. They simply do not stop, for any reason, no matter how little progress they think they are making!
Studies show that among the 3% of people who set out to achieve a goal, there was no one condition that made their success more likely. In other words, they didn’t all have a degree, they weren’t born rich, they didn’t have a particular personality style, and they didn’t have any special advantages at all. The only thing they have in common is not giving up.
That’s pretty good news if you ask me! That means I have just as good a chance as anyone else to make it. The outcome lies with me. Only I am responsible for whether or not I succeed or fail. It’s my choice. I choose to succeed.
What about you? Can you hang in there until the end? Can you choose to be persistent in your efforts? Don’t quit! Remember, most “over night successes” take about 10 years.

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