Tag Archive: happiness


How to be Awesome!

Have you ever met someone who was simply awesome?

I believe that no matter what you look like, how much money is in your bank account, where you live, what you drive, or how much education you have, you can be awesome! It’s pretty simple if you follow these three steps:

1. Check the mirror. Take a good long look at yourself in a full length mirror before you leave your house. If you don’t like what you see, don’t change clothes (although that may help) but instead, change your attitude! What is on the inside of you is revealed on the outside of you. There are so many beautiful people who don’t have model shaped bodies, high cheek bones, beautiful eyes, face, and hair. They are just average, normal people who have a great attitude and it shows!

What do you see when you look in the mirror? What does your posture say about how you regard the world? Are you defensive? Does your facial expression reveal bitterness, caution, and fear? What about your choice of clothes? Are you drawing attention to yourself or hiding behind your fashion?

How do you walk? Head up, chin out and with purpose? Or do you shuffle along with your head down like you have no where to go and no one to talk to?

What does your speech reveal about you? Do you curse or bless? Are you mindful of proper grammar or do you flaunt your lack of education? (“What my name is?”)

Making sure your attitude is awesome is as easy as looking in the mirror. Check it out! If your image doesn’t scream awesome – then change it!

2. Assume rapport. Many people walk around concerned about what other people think about them. It makes us nervous to think we are being sized up and judged all the time. What I have discovered is that most of the time, the person is too busy thinking about themselves and wondering what others think about them to be at all concerned with you!

So the fact is, you don’t have to worry about what people think of you – because most likely they aren’t thinking about you at all!

I normally wouldn’t advocate any type of assumption. Assuming things usually makes a mess in relationships. But there is an exception – it is safe and wise to assume rapport. Whom should you assume you have rapport with? Everyone you meet! The entire world, in fact. If you make it a habit of thinking that the person you are speaking with likes you, enjoys your company, and wants to be your friend – then most likely they will! In fact, if you face the world with the same assumed rapport, you find it to be a warm and caring place.

Assuming rapport with the world changes you and how you respond to others. Your demeanor and confidence level will improve. Your energy toward others will get higher and your conversation and expressions will reflect the type of person that anyone would call awesome!

3. Keep reaching forward. Keep growing. I used to grow a considerable amount of house plants. Then somehow my life grew too busy and complicated to proper take care of them, so I downsized! Right now I only have two plants in the house, and both of them are pot-bound. Have you ever seen a plant that had outgrown its pot? It’s not a pretty sight. If you keep a plant in the same pot, year after year, the roots have no where to go and it makes growing and thriving almost impossible for the plant. You can tell right away because the leaves are dull and of course there’s little or no change in the plant.

This is what happens to us when we stop growing. We become dull and lifeless. If you want to be awesome – you must make sure you are always learning, always growing, and always expanding your reach. Awesome people always have something new to talk about, they learn things, they experience new things, and because of this, they are more interesting to others.

As you can see, being awesome is pretty simple. Make sure your attitude is properly expressed on the outside, assume rapport with others, and continue to grow!

More about stuff

A few days ago I wrote about “stuff.”  You know what stuff I’m referring to, right? The stuff that just happens.  I want to talk a bit more about stuff and the verse from Romans 8:28 which tells us that all things work together for our good. What that verse says to me is that difficulty is designed to lead to blessing. The only reason it sometimes does not is because we fight it or we fail to acknowledge it.   

Many times we fight the difficulty (stuff) that is happening to us rather than accepting it in faith that God knows what He’s doing. When we can’t get rid of it, we sit around crying or whining about it so that we don’t see the good that does come from it…or worse, we sabotage the good along with the stuff!  So what are we to do? 

First of all, look for the good, watch for it, expect it. Every time you face difficulty the first thing you should do is change your mindset toward expectation of good. Just that one act alone will greatly lessen the difficulty you are experiencing!  It is amazing what can happen when you simply change your mindset. If you develop this skill you will soon realize that it’s no big deal.  Actually, most everything that happens to you – both good and bad – is really no big deal. Sure, our egos want us to think it is a big deal, but it’s usually not. In fact, if you’ll take the time to recall all the events of 2009 that at the time they were happening you really thought were a big deal – you will notice that it really wasn’t. Our egos tend to enjoy drama. You can get that under control by stepping back and asking yourself, will this matter one year from today? Or, will I even remember it in five years?  

I’m not suggesting that the difficulty you may be experiencing doesn’t bring some sort of pain with it – sure it does. And that pain is very real! But if you fail to realize that the opportunity which accompanies the pain is also very real – you will not only be in pain, you’ll miss out on the blessing that the pain was designed to create. Most of us avoid all forms of death, right? We see death as the enemy. I’m not just referring to death of the body, but all kinds of death. If you are fired from your job – it’s the death of that position. If your spouse leaves you for another lover – it’s the death of that relationship. Throughout nature it is demonstrated that death brings forth new life.  Death is a necessary step in getting something better – it’s not the enemy!  A seed must fall into the ground and die before it can bring forth a new plant. The seedling must die to give way to the sprout.  The sprout dies to give way to the stems which will bare flowers. The flowers must die to bring forth the fruit. The fruit must die to bring forth the seed. The pattern we see demonstrated is that the new life is greater than that which died. 

Anytime you are experiencing a death, whether it be in a relationship, employment, your possessions, or anything that is no longer useful to you – you are then provided an opportunity for a new life, or new job, new opportunity, new relationship, etc. Looking toward the new is similar to how a mother giving birth deals with the pain of childbirth. She is in anticipation of that new life that is coming forth. The pain is still very real! But the expectation of new life is greater than the pain. 

We can approach all of the stuff that happens with this same attitude. Look for the new birth.  Look for the new opportunity.  Look for new growth. In doing so, you will get your mind off the pain and the experience will be worth it all in the end.

Chapter two discusses the importance of never giving up on your dreams. Cinderella certainly did not give up and you can’t either. I have provided a few examples of modern day heroes who never gave up. Take some time this week to find more examples.

One thing you will find if you study the lives of any of these heroes is they all possess one very important trait. It’s a quality that you will have to develop before you will ever find lasting success in your endeavors. That quality or skill is deligence.

Below are the names of famous people who overcame common issues such as drug abuse, dropping out of school, being poor, etc. Do an internet search for each name listed below and learn a bit about how each one accomplished their dream. Beside each name, give a brief summary of the challenges they faced and how they used deligence to over come it.

On your own: in your notebook, look for people that inspire you. What did they do to overcome obstacles to get to where they are at today? There are thousands of stories of people who overcame adversities. Find one you can relate to and see how they overcame and succeeded. What kind of example are they to you?

Jim Carrey (Actor):
Eminem (Slim Shady)
Jennifer Capriati (Tennis player)
Johnny Depp (Actor)

The power behind Cinderella’s Secret is that she knew exactly what she wanted. What about you? Do you know what your dreams and goals are? Or have you buried them beneath the day to day chores? If it has been a long while since you allowed yourself to dream, let’s do it now.

But before we do, lets get one thing out of the way. Many people have subscribed to the idea that it’s greedy to want more, or it’s wrong to wish for material things, or that somehow it is less spiritual to not be completely content living in the state you are currently in.

Would you agree that God expects us to discover our life purpose and then live it out? Would you agree that God gives us gifts and talents in order to excel at our life purpose? Do you realize that in order to live out your God-given life purpose, you MUST have material possessions?

For example, let’s say your God-given talent is that of music. Your life purpose, you discover, is to make beautiful music. What do you need to accomplish this? Music lessons? That takes money. An instrument? That also takes money.
What if your life purpose is to grow food? You need LAND! What if your purpose is to teach? You need an education which of course equals lots of money! What if your life purpose is to be a missionary or a pastor? You need MONEY!

It is not wrong to seek material possessions. God created this world in abundance and He desires to see you enjoy this life in abundance. And you don’t have to make sure that all your dreams are for the sole purpose of helping others. Sometimes it’s ok to want something just because it makes you happy. God wants you to be happy!

So, go ahead and get that fear out of your head right now! What are YOUR dreams? Do you want to travel? Do you want to be a Congressman? Do you want to be a teacher? A missionary? A musician? Take some time right now to design your ideal life. Be specific.

To help you determine what your dreams are, answer the following questions:
In a perfect world, if you could dream the ultimate dream, what would it be? What do you really want? Try to recall what you dreamt for yourself years ago. What do you want for yourself now?

Hey ya’ll! From Seattle!

Mark and I are in Gig Harbor, WA, just outside Seattle. I cannot believe how beautiful it is here and the weather is fabulous. Right now, it’s sunny and about 70 degrees. I’m watching the sailboats on the water while Mark takes a nap. We came to visit his mother, a most beautiful soul, and her husband, also a delight to be with.

This is a much needed vacation. I worked hard on Cinderella’s Secret, and then just before we left, I finished the workbook for it and sent it off to the editor. I’m actually more excited about the workbook than I was the actual book. I had been telling people that writing CS was a therapeutic move for me, to help me recover from my major life changes. But actually, I think the most helpful thing to me was taking inventory of what I have, rather than what I lost. I really didn’t lose anything other than a handful of disappointments and painful memories.

Before we left, we got to spend the night with my youngest son and his wife. Although seeing my grand-babies is always a hightlight, this time the best part was having some good conversation about God with my daughter-in-law. Once again, I was left with the task of taking inventory of my blessings. I cannot tell you just how grateful I am for all that I have in my life. Life is good. Life is worth living to the max. Life is worth giving it my best shot. And that I am!

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