I’m having some trouble understanding the difference between good people and bad people. I mean, just how does one go about deciding that someone is a “bad person” or if they are a “good person.” After all, we all do things from time to time that we aren’t proud of, but does that make us “bad?” There are bad people who sometimes do nice things, but we still think they are bad.
Is there a line somewhere that gets crossed making someone go from good to bad? Is there a limit to how many bad things you can do before you lose your “good” status? Is there a symptom of going bad like the way we can tell when a piece of fruit has gone bad?
On the flip side, think about the really, really nice people that we sometimes deem to be “too nice.” How is that even possible? You know the type – they are so nice that they become door mats. They let people walk all over them. They give people the benefit of the doubt so much that they are taken advantage of. Then there are those who take advantage of the “too nice” person – are they now considered “bad?”
It’s all just so confusing. Most of us admit that we sometimes do bad things – we lose our temper, we think bad thoughts, or we tell a “white” lie. There again, what makes a lie white or not? Exactly where is that line that pushes a normal person who sometimes does bad things over the edge to being a “bad person?” And who decides when a lie is white or some other color?
Researches must ponder this question too because they came up with a question to determine if a person has a tendency toward being a sociopath. It goes something like this:
A girl was attending her mother’s funeral when an attractive man came and sat down next to her whom she had never seen before. They talked before and after the service for a while and she felt drawn to him. It felt she had known him all her life, but they had just met. After the funeral, she left without catching his name. A few weeks later, the girl murdered her sister. Why did she do it?
According to their research, known sociopaths readily know the answer to this question, whereas, normal people don’t.
The answer is: she thought the man may attend her sister’s funeral.
Now if you figured that one out – don’t be too alarmed! You are probably not a sociopath. (Probably.)
With the exception of sociopaths – is it possible that everyone is both good and bad? I know someone who I feel is a bad person. I’ve often said, “Something’s wrong with him!” But there are others who know this same person and would tell you that he is a great person. Obviously, they don’t know what I know about him. But is it possible, that I just don’t know what they know about him?
In the Bible, Paul tries to give us a little guidance on determining someone’s character when he told the Galatians (5:22) about the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance). Fruit is something we can see, touch, taste, and smell. And really, you don’t have to be too bright to figure out if the fruit has gone bad or not. It wilts, turns colors, and eventually turns to mush. I suppose the same goes for our character.
I’m trying to get into the habit of looking at people’s character the way I look at fruit. Today I had a banana and a pear. 
The banana had some brown mushy parts which I pinched off and threw away. I enjoyed the rest of it though. The pear looked great. There were no soft spots, bruises or blemishes. It was firm yet ripe and a pretty green color. But when I bit into it, it was gross. It didn’t taste right but I kept eating it any way. Now my stomach hurts.
People are often like that banana and pear. Some people have bruises and mushy parts, but they are good. Others look perfect, but inside they are bad and can hurt you. The point is that line that determines good and bad isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it is – you see the person’s behavior and it’s obviously not good. But other times, the poison is on the inside and you are not going to know if it’s good or bad until you bite into it.
My concern is that I cultivate my fruit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance) so that it is nourishing to those around me. It’s really the only thing I have any control over. And regarding others, I’ll try to not judge too quickly. Some of the nicest people I know have hurt me the worst! And I’ve received blessings from people I thought didn’t have it in them.
Good or bad, time will tell.
