Success, Personal Growth, Positivity

There is a common misconception out there that is really the basis for Cinderella’s Secret. Over and over I hear people ask how they can get over their emotions and most simply do not believe they have any control over issues of the heart. They say they cannot “help feeling this way.” They don’t want to feel negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, frustration. But somehow they have come to believe that how they feel is simply how they feel and their only recourse is to deal with it or get over it. When talking about grief, Mark told me once that there is a big difference between “getting over” something and “getting past” it. I agree. 

A good example of this happened when an acquaintance began complaining to me about some people who were making his job difficult. He said they simply did not respect their surroundings and it just happens to be him who is responsible for picking up after their mess. Furthermore, he complained that these people were horrible parents because they were passing along their disregard to their children – whom he also had to pick up after. He was simply “sick and tired of it,” he told me. He certainly looked tired. I wonder how far off he was in claiming that he was sick of it. Stress is a leading cause of many, many health issues and it was quite obvious that this issue was causing him a great deal of stress. 

A few days later, he returned to tell me that he had spoken to his supervisor about his frustrations. He said that she simply looked at him and with a soft voice said, “this is what we are here for.” It was obvious he had experienced an “aha” moment because he looked less tired, less stressed. The people he was complaining about certainly did not change. But something did.  It was his mindset. His thoughts. His frame of reference. Once his thinking was changed, guess what else changed? His emotions. He no longer felt frustrated and angry. Instead, he developed a bit of gratitude because these people were not simply disregarding his efforts; they were actually providing him an income. His job actually depended on people doing what people do – make a mess. My acquaintance is happy now and probably a bit healthier too! What a difference a thought makes! 

This is the central message of Cinderella’s Secret. If you want to change your feelings, start by changing your thinking. If you want to accomplish something, change your feelings by changing your thinking which then changes your actions!  It’s a simple formula but like I’ve said before, simple does not always mean easy.

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